Camaraderie
by J the Drafter
Summary: Set during Chapter 72. Sasha is the only one to miss out on the celebratory dinner.


Disclaimer: I do not own Attack on Titan.

 **Camaraderie**

Sasha was, bound, gagged, and feeling very lonely.

The raucous laughter and boisterous conversation of Survey Corps members filled the spacious dining hall, making Sasha wish she could cover her ears. About twenty feet away from her, Sasha could see her fellow crewmates in Squad Levy enjoying dinner. Jean was talking excitedly with the two Military Police soldiers that had joined them, Marlo and Hitch. Eren and Connie were engaged in an animated discussion with Armin, while Mikasa ate in silence, as always. None of them seemed to notice or care about her absence.

Sasha squirmed, attempting to reach a knot, but it was hopeless. Her arms had been folded behind her and tied to together from wrist to elbow across her lower back. Her upper body was secured to one of the room's wooden pillars.

She was completely trapped.

Sasha shouted against her gag, desperate to get someone's attention. _'_ _I'll be good!'_ Sasha wanted to say. _'_ _I promise I'll be good!'_ It was useless. If anyone could even hear Sasha over the massive din, they didn't bother looking in her direction.

Sasha's stomach growled. She could smell the dinner from her spot near the wall. The aromas of cooked vegetables and baked bread mixed with roasted meat. Meals with meat in them were _rare_ , and the Survey Corps had never gotten this much meat before. Sasha loved meat. She should have been at the table with everyone else, chatting and eating to her heart's content. Frustrated, Sasha chewed the rag that had been wadded into her mouth and tied in place.

Sasha knew her squad-mates didn't quite think of her as normal. Her hunger was excessive to them—a running joke, or a reason to keep their distance. That had been okay. Sasha didn't expect them to understand. She hadn't thought her appetite actually mattered for anything important. She'd lived through the same horror and death they had. She'd experienced the same fear, the same relief, the same guilt, even the same victorious exhilaration as everyone else in Squad Levy. Sasha had thought those experiences made them all united. Instead, everyone had decided she was a bother, and tossed her into a corner. Even Connie thought so; he'd helped Eren tie Sasha up.

Sasha heard shouting. Jean and Eren were brawling. Blows were flying fast and hard. Stupid. Sasha had thought Jean and Eren had grown too mature for that. Someone should have stopped them, but no one got up from their meal to do so.

Sasha's stomach gave another rumble at the thought. She hadn't eaten since lunch, and unless someone decided to untie her she wasn't going to eat again until breakfast the next morning.

Levi eventually came in and broke up Eren and Jean's fight before making everyone clean up and go to bed. "Cleaning up", apparently, didn't include untying Sasha and making sure she got something to eat. Sasha banged her feet against the ground and shouted into her gag, but no one came to help her. Sasha sat and watched, growing hungrier by the minute, as the mass of soldiers returned food to serving dishes, stacked plates, silverware and cups, and picked up trash.

 _Finally_ , after the tables were just about cleared, Connie came over to her. Connie bent down to the ropes tying Sasha to the pillar, but Sasha yelled through her gag until Connie got the message and changed course. Connie fingers picked at the cloth tied over Sasha's mouth, and soon Sasha was able to spit out the rag shoved into her mouth.

"Jeez, you're a bother," Connie sighed.

Sasha very deliberately looked at the ground while Connie untied the ropes.

Connie offered Sasha a hand, but Sasha pointedly ignored it and climbed to her feet herself. Sasha looked at the tables. They were almost completely bare, but Sasha managed to get herself a loaf of bread and some carrots from the dishes that were swiftly being taken away. A soldier tried to force Sasha out of the mess hall.

"I didn't get any dinner," Sasha said roughly. Something about her tone of voice or the expression on her face must have given the soldier a warning, because he didn't press the issue or ask questions.

"Would you like some company?" Connie asked as Sasha settled down to eat. Sasha nodded her assent, though she wasn't sure she actually wanted to see Connie's face right then.

"Everyone sure sounded happy at dinner," Sasha said as she morosely picked at her meal.

"You look kind of mad," Connie said. Sasha avoided Connie's eyes. Moron.

"It's not like tying you up was our first resort," Connie protested, still trying to justify himself. Sasha took a bite from a carrot. "I mean, you were totally out of control. We didn't have a choice!"

Sasha chewed and swallowed, then asked, "Was dinner fun?" This time it was Connie who turned away. At least he had the decency to look ashamed.

"The meat really looked tasty," Sasha continued. "Everyone sounded like they were having a lot of fun together, too."

Connie flushed. Good.

"And so, since I didn't get to participate, I want to know: was dinner fun?"

"Hey!" Connie shot to his feet. "If you hadn't started clobbering people because you wanted an entire roast all to yourself, we wouldn't have had to tie you up!"

Sasha followed Connie's lead and bolted upright, slamming both hands against the table. Sasha's chair clattered to the ground. "You gagged me and left me in a corner without dinner while all of you guys ate and had fun. At least one of you could have remembered to make sure I got food!" Sasha tried to focus on being angry, because she was pretty sure that if she let her guard down she'd start to cry. "You even helped tie me up. I thought we were friends!" Unspoken, _I thought I was part of the group._

Connie started for a second, looking guilty. "We would have let you eat with us if you hadn't gone berserk!" Connie said furiously. "Why do you have to act so childish sometimes!?"

Giving Connie one last glare, Sasha grabbed her food and ran outside.

The air was just cool enough to be pleasant. Sasha sat down by the door and set her plate on her lap, waiting to see if Connie would follow. When the boy didn't come, Sasha continued her meal with considerable relief.

It wasn't a feast of meat, it wasn't even much of a dinner, but eventually Sasha felt full. There were a lot of soldiers still wandering about, talking, but Sasha went right to her bunk. It was going to be a busy day tomorrow and Sasha didn't have anything else to do. She didn't feel hungry anymore. She sure as hell didn't feel like talking to anyone.

In the morning, Sasha would need to face her squad. In the morning, she would need to eat breakfast with them and take her place in formation. For now, though, all Sasha had to do was go to her bunk and rest.

Sasha morosely settled into her bed and tried to concentrate on falling asleep, images of dinner playing out beneath her eyelids the whole time.


End file.
